Flashback 3: Life at age 18

Just got my A level result. A short-lived euphoria was closely replaced by a sense of loss and depression. Strange?

Let me explain. Prior to age 18, school was essentially very predictable. Primary, then secondary and JC, well, everything was a given. No surprise there. But after the A level, I was not so sure. Thus began a period of soul searching, made more desperate by the mundane, almost brain draining, foot dragging time in any man's life: National Service.

For a man whose life is well planned, uncertainty was a killer tsunami. It hit you, and left you feeling helpless, tossed around and eventually drowned. Not knowing what may come next was more excruciating than waiting on death row, or queuing for the firing squad.

Surprisingly, NS came to my rescue. It provided some sense of regularity and predictability which lasted two and a half years. I gladly surrendered my intellectual independence in exchange for mindless, often repetitive routines. Sometimes it could be good not to have to do much thinking.

I had a two and a half years thinking holiday.