War of the Worlds

This is a very gory movie, with plenty of mayhem and destruction. In restrospect, definitely not the kind of movie I should watch fresh from the clutches of a military institution. But being confined to a surreal world in perpetual slow-motion does give one the urge to flatten everything in sight, so on another level, this movie has been terribly therapeutic.

Coming back to my current army stint. When there was time to do some self-reflection, which occurs every 5 minute more or less, one thought that came to mind was that perhaps there is a gaping hole in my life. I reasoned that as I approach 34, I must therefore be suffering from midlife crisis, assuming of course that I would live up to 68. I can sum up my predicament in these few words:

I am lonely and I need a wife, or failing that, a german shepherd.

When I was busy in school, there was little time to think about who I would like to spend the rest of my life with, or perhaps maybe I was dodging the issue. But I am kind of tired watching movies alone, War of the Worlds as a case in point. Tonight, I was sitting beside a wholesome family with lots of warm family interactions, with the daddy eager to teach his daughter how to pronounce the word "amoeba". Very heart warming.

I have been alone most of my life without even realising it and I am afraid that one day when I wake up, I would find that there will be nothing else worth living for once my career is gone and all that I once held dear disappear like shifting shadows.

Of course getting married presupposes that I have someone in mind to marry, which I dont. Whoever that person shall be, I hope she is reading this post and will not tarry.

I am waiting.